Active Listening Part 2: Reflect

As we listen and receive what someone shares with a warm, welcoming grace, we engage in active listening by reflecting. Reflecting is much different than reacting to what is being said. In reflecting we stay focused on the speaker’s story. That’s not to say that thoughts will not come up that remind us of our own story, or trigger an emotion, or make us want to solve a problem, or persuade this person to our way of thinking. But as we stay engaged in listening, we simply hold our own thoughts and “bookmark” them in our minds to process later in our own way or with our own spiritual director if need be.

Reflecting as a listening tool mirrors what someone is saying. It can simply repeat a phrase or a word they have used and ask if there is more they want to say about that. Or it may acknowledge a hurt that the individual has brushed aside as “no big deal” as we compassionately hold that hurt for them to look at again. However we reflect with the individual, we do it gently, with respect, and without an agenda to persuade, dissuade, or coerce anyone to a particular conclusion or belief. Active listening allows the wisdom within to naturally rise within each individual as they find the path to their own God-given truth.

What difference has being listened to made in your own life? How have you offered the gift of active listening?How has that gift been received?