Bear with One Another
A friend recently told me that in the church where she has worshipped for decades, she feels what she calls “benign neglect” to her presence there. Spoken to, yes. Acknowledged as present, yes. But not truly embraced or known. It’s a pain point for her now and she’s wondering what it all means and where it will take her.
Living in community doesn’t always lead to a spiritual satisfaction let alone a spiritual high. In fact, as much as I believe I’m called to live out my faith in community, I also realize it is often the most difficult path to walk. To be honest, it would be easy to walk away from community at times, like when I’m wondering why I ever decided to become part of that community, or when I feel lonely in the midst of the gathering, or when I’m hurt by being misunderstood, or when I’ve felt that “benign neglect.”
The challenges of community life are endless. Surely there is no perfect community. And there is no community that exists just to meet my specific needs and to operate according to my preferences. This is why we are reminded to “be patient, bearing with one another in love,” (Ephesians 4:2). I don’t need to “bear with one another” when things are going smoothly. It’s when someone is stepping on my last nerve that I need to practice patience and bear with that person in love. I’m often reminded that hurt people, hurt people, and so I recognize that we all have baggage, also known as a cross to bear, that causes us to react to circumstances and people in ways that feel grace-less. I know because I’ve been that person.
Yet, I cannot deny that community is the very essence of the Divine expressed as Father, Son, and Spirit dwelling together in unity. Jesus lived day in and day out in community with a small band of followers who certainly tried his patience with their lack of faith, their fears, their positioning for power, and their lack of understanding. Yet, he bore with them in love. He saw beyond the rough façades and the failures. He saw their deepest desire that they themselves could not yet name — to know God and to be loved by God. Community was never an option for Jesus. It was and is who he is. And it is a part of what he calls us to be in this world.
For Reflection: How would you describe your own relationship with your faith community (whether that is a traditional church, or a small group of faithful friends who know you and encourage you). How would you describe your faith community’s relationship to you? In what ways are you growing in patience and the ability to bear with one another in love? What are the obstacles to this growth? What is the line between bearing with others or feeling abused by a community in some way? When do you know it is time to find a new community?
