Soul Talk: Redefining Identity Part 2
Yesterday’s post spoke about misidentifying ourselves by the roles we take on. And as noble and honorable as being a great parent, partner, friend, or employer might be, these roles change with time. Today, let’s consider how we mistake our accomplishments as part of our identity. After all these may be memorable aspects that help others know us, but they are not our deepest being. I may say “I’m an author,” or “I’m a spiritual director,” or “I have a degree in… I graduated from…” but these are a mere expression of true identity.
Our cultural insistence on measuring our accomplishments, our levels of productivity, stature, or growth can become a silent trauma to the soul that we accept as the norm of our existence. From testing and measuring knowledge in schools, to the growth of a church by its number of new members, to key performance indicators in business, and even the statistics and rankings of our sports teams, we are never far from the world’s demand that we be identified by the measurement of our life activity. Of course measurement has its purpose and can help keep us on track and inform our next steps. But as a society, it often goes beyond that purpose. It becomes our pastime, our obsessions, and controls how we feel about ourselves. Meanwhile, the only metric I can find in the scriptures worth considering is offered by John the Baptist in relationship to knowing Jesus when he said: “He must increase. I must decrease.”
This is paradox. For if I decrease it seems I might loose myself entirely. Yet, here is where we come to more fully know ourselves. “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself, that I may know thee,” wrote Augustine. This decreasing of self happens when we begin to strip away these false identities of our roles, titles, accomplishments, and measures of success. But this is work and this calls for practice. The spiritual disciplines are the windows into the soul, and doorways into Divine presence. Through spiritual disciplines we develop self-relinquishing muscle that opens up the soul to the whisper of Spirit within.
Exploring spiritual disciplines that allow us to loosen the grip on self just a little is part of the joy in decreasing as Jesus increases in our world and as our identifying mark. What disciplines have you found that encourages this self-relinquishing practice? The prayer of examen? Centering prayer? Lectio Divina? Fasting? This week, take note of all the ways that you live by the numbers rather than by the Spirit. What is your relationship to your “metrics of success?” How might you loosen your grip on yourself just a bit to let your soul soar?
