Discernment in Everyday Life
Last week I wrote about discernment being more than making a good decision about significant life events. We considered the Heart of the Matter that seeks out the Divine invitations beyond the mere choices we make that draw us closer to the heart of God. But if discernment is a spiritual practice, then how do we experience it in our everyday life when we are simply moving through the ordinary tasks of our days and weeks, when there are no big decisions looming, no disasters to deal with, only small movements, adjustments to routines, intersections with others, energy expended in work and play, and times of resting?
Discernment is not a step-by-step program or a systematic pattern. Rather, it is a regular discipline of listening to the still, small voice beneath the rush of the whirlwind, a prayerful practice of reading the subtle signs in daily life.
~ Henri Nouwen, “Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life”
A friend of mine used to complain that she felt so close to God when things were going miserably, and she had to pray and hold on to faith and battle the demons of destruction in her life. But when life mellowed out and felt ordinary, she felt like she lost her connection to God, and she worried she would end up looking for problems just to stay close to God.
The daily practice of discernment we often call the prayer of examen which is simply a reflection time on the day, or the week, where we invite the Spirit to sift through all that the day has given and notice what was life-giving, or life-diminishing in some way, and how did God speak or draw us closer in it all. This kind of prayer is the basis of Psalm 139 that begins and ends with “Search me, O God, and know my heart…”
But beneath this prayer is a foundation of trust that makes it possible for us to come boldly before God in the first place. I see this foundation with four pillars that hold the structure of my life:
Pillar #1: God is always at work in my life and in my world.
Pillar #2: God is always reaching toward me with goodness and tenderhearted compassion.
Pillar #3: Every human life is the greatest vehicle for knowing God.
Pillar #4: God invites me to know myself and in so doing, to come to know God more deeply.
With this foundation firmly in place, I begin to review my day, not necessarily minute by minute, but gently allowing thoughts to arise from my day, the morning, the afternoon, the evening, and notice what catches my eye. I pause to consider those moment and what the invitation may be. Are there habits or attitudes that need to change? What is the evidence of Divine presence in that encounter, that emotion, that thought? How might it lead me to God’s compassion toward me or toward others? How does it inform my life going forward tomorrow?
This prayer becomes a pathway I share with God through my days, where we talk like intimate friends about what’s happened or what hasn’t happened. And as we do this over and over, the daily practice makes the discernment of the big life events and decisions a more natural conversation on a well-worn path with God.
For Your Spiritual Direction Conversation:
How do you react to the four pillars for prayers of discernment? How would you define your own pillars that give structure to your faith?
Do you react to the idea of partnering with the Divine to review your daily, ordinary life? Does it feel inviting, invasive, impossible, or some other response?
What difference might it make to know God with you and supporting you in the mundane moments of your life?
Ready to read more about Discernment? “Discernment: Hearing, Seeing, Touching”
